How to Love a New Mother

Be patient and gentle; quiet and light.
Remind her of what she did well.
Ask about the good, the bad, the unspeakable.
The gains, the losses, the disappointments, the exhaustion, the unbearable, the triumphs.
Communicate your dedicated confidence in her; not as a “mother”, but as a woman, with vulnerability, confusions, anxieties, and insecurities, coupled with joy, relief, and a humbled sense of life.
Love her for all of that.
Love her just because.  

Ask her questions about HER experience
I guarantee she has a different version than you or her medical records capture.
She has gone through an enormous transformation before your eyes.
You are a privileged soul to accompany her on this journey
Love her for all of that.
Love her just because.

It is her birth.
Do not take that lightly.
It is her story.
Do not rewrite it for her.
It is her memory.
Do not dismiss that.
Curl up with that beautiful baby and bask in the afterglow of a new mom.
Or cry raw tears of overwhelming fears.
Or both. All at once.
Love her for all of that.
Love her just because.